Saturday, January 16, 2010

Trials in Parenting

The Lord has blessed me with two amazing and healthy children. I remember when I was pregnant with each of them I always prayed for their health. I can vividly recal sitting in their nurseries at night after they had been born rocking them slowly and praying to the Lord to keep them safe and healthy and in turn I promised Him I would raise up my children to know and love Him. Well, the Lord has kept his promises and now I am trying my best to do my part.
I can close my eyes and see my son at the very young age of 1 1/2 as a new walker, trying his best to maneuver up and down curbs outside in our neighborhood. I can still see the determination in his eyes as he would try over and over again to put one foot up on the curb and not topple over during his balancing act. It took him about 15-20 attempts, but he continued to do it until he mastered it - and that look of pure joy and accomplishment on his little face brought a smile to my own.
As my children have grown older I have watched their personalities develop in much different ways. My son who used to be the determined confident one has recently become more self conscious, frustrated and frightened to try new things. This personality trait also then evolves into bad sportsmanship because he can not handle losing or failing once he has tried at something - an uphill battle for sure. I don't know how you go from being a 1 1/2 year old with such drive and determination to an almost 9 year old who lacks that confidence and ability to try, but I am trying to get to the bottom of it with him. I've had talks with him today, and had him give me a list of 10 things he is great at (which he could easily come up with). He is a wonderful person inside and out, I want him to have that confidence that he deserves so he can be the successful man that I know he can be in life. I try to teach him to be Christ like in everything he does, I know it is a stiff order, but I am trying.
I have a six year old who is confident and wise beyond her years. She will dance and strut her stuff in front of complete strangers smiling from ear to ear. She will talk your ear off to no end and when she walks into a room she radiates it with her positivity and good nature. I am praying that as years go by she doesn't loose that self confidence within herself and her Christ like nature to serve others. I pray her ability to always want to please others won't be taken advantage of. I pray that I can be the mother that I told the Lord I would be, and that my children deserve.

Motherhood is more than I ever thought it could be. I literally wear my heart on my sleeve daily. All I can do is continue to pray that not only they will be healthy, but they will be happy and have a wonderful quality of life that they deserve. Please Lord.......... give me the strength!


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Boy did I need this today

As a working mother it is a DAILY struggle with mothers guilt for me, someone sent me this and I am so glad they did, I REALLY needed this today........ I couldn't have said it better myself:

An open letter to my working mother’s guilt
You, sir, are a liar and a thief.

You lie about the quality of my mothering and you steal the joy of time spent with my children by making me worry about the time we spend apart.

You are self important and self involved.

You trick me into thinking that I can control the well being of my boys. You make me out to be god and center of the universe of my family. And that when I am absent the earth stops revolving and the sun struggles to shines. You whisper, deserter.

You are sneaky sneaky, setting yourself up where the God who built my children shin-bone-to-thigh-bone-to-hip-bone should be.

I will call you out.

And when the crackly static of your nagging dies down I can hear the voice of my Father. And He whispers, provider.

He sings over me.

He is waiting for me in the morning as I struggle to wake up. When the glare of the bathroom lights blind and tired eyes fight the lenses they need to face the day, He is there.

He sings,

She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family.

Proverbs 31:15

I cling to that chorus all day, five days a week. Here, listen, you lying, stealing guilt. I will spell it out for you:

I love my sons deep.

I love my sons wide.

I love my sons enough to sacrifice what I want so that I can give them what they need.

I am no less and no more than the mothers who get to stay home. God did not give them a pass and me a punishment. I do not need to apologize for the fact that I work. I do not need to be embarrassed.

I practice dying to my own desires every day with each good-bye, each desperate hug, each meal prepared and left to be eaten in my absence. I walk the hard path of trust. Trusting that the God who built my boys will parent them in my absence, will grow them in courage, and teach them over time that this is what love looks like.

Gritty, committed, and determined to do what is necessary.

So, take that Liar.

And if you come back tomorrow, I will be ready to read this to you again.

Signed, Lisa-Jo
mother to her boys in every way that matters
Her blog:

Thank you Lisa-Jo, I REALLY needed that today!


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