Why are girls so mean to one another?

As a girl, growing up I had some terrible encounters that I can remember QUITE clearly of girls at school just being downright mean, cruel and nasty to me. I remember many times being in tears explaining to my mom what the girls had done and her always doing her best to calm me down and console me. Well, now unfortunately for me the role has been revearsed and I'm trying to explain to my dear daughter at the age of 5 why girls can be mean. She came home crying today because a neighborhood girl had been mean to her and was making fun of her - Luke was an awesome big brother and came to her defense and brought her home in tears. Boy, my heart just aches for her. WHY ARE GIRLS SO MEAN???
Boys don't do this. Now, of course there are boy bullies out there and "not so nice" boys, but girls I have found (some girls) just do anything they can to cut other girls down, insult them, and just level them- why is this? I know our school counselors office is always full of second and third grade girls due to this fact, always having to squelch one incident after another.
I tried my best to explain to Lauren that this girl will not have many friends because of her actions (this girl has a history of this) and that she doesn't want friends like this anyway. I told her to stand up for herself when girls do this, don't just hide away and cry, say "stop treating me like that!", etc. if she feels that she can, or just ignore them the best that she can- don't give them the justification of seeing you upset. BOY that is a HARD lesson to try and teach to a 5 year old. I told her that Jesus made her a special little girl with a special heart and he will give you wonderful friends that will treat her the way she wants to be treated (she of course instantly came up with an example of a sweet little girl who is her friend).
Don't you just want to put your kids in a bubble and shelter from all of this!?! Why can't all kids just be nice to one another ... .oh yeah, that stupid sin nature in all of us.......... lovely!

I don't want to grow old!

We just returned from a wonderful 2 1/2 week Disney vacation - we had an amazing time.
While we were away my grandmother was rushed to the hospital where she stayed for awhile and is now in a nursing facility in the local senior citizen facility that she and my grandfather had an apartment in. The kids and I went to visit her today and I just don't think I was prepared for what I saw. Physically she looked pretty good, not too different from when I had last seen her, but mentally she is not the same and it was just so darn sad. She is in a wonderful facility - but you just can't sugar coat things like that - I would NEVER want to be where she is and reality tells me that someday I probably will be. She is in a small room with a roommate. She basicaly spends her entire day (other than when they pick her up for therapy) sitting in a recliner in her room starring at the wall or dozing. I offered to turn the t.v. on for her, to get her something to drink, if she wanted us to wheel her outside - to all of which she replied "no, I'm fine". How sad, how very very sad. This once vibrant woman, who I have seen pictures of when she was my age- and the woman was gorgeous - it just breaks my heart. As I watched my kids cling to her and give her hugs and tell her how much they loved her, it was wonderful to see the joy on her face. She said "sometime soon you won't have to visit this dreadful place". Luke later said : "I think she meant she will be in Heaven". I think that's what she meant too, I think she is ready to go . . .and you know what. . .I don't blame her.
When we were leaving I asked her if there is anything that we could do for her and she said "no, just get out there and enjoy life." WOW, I certainly will. I will cherish every moment of this life that is mine and be greatful for each blessed day.

33 Years.......... Wow!

Well, today is my 33rd birthday. I was awakened by wonderful presents from Tim and the kids and had a wonderful birthday full of shopping, a pedicure as a gift, lunch with my mom and dad and dinner out with Tim and the kids - it was a wonderful day.
I can't believe I am 33 years old, there was a lot going through my head as I blew out my candles this evening:



First of all I was thinking "I am truly blessed" in every single way a person can be blessed. Most importantly I have my health, thank the Lord for my health and the health of my family. The Lord has blessed me with a loving husband who is my best friend, two wonderful children, a great extended family, a steady income, wonderful friendships both old and some new, a beautiful house over our heads, a great church to worship in, a neighborhood full of caring people, a job that I do indeed love (although stressful at times), and the blessing of our financial security that allows us to travel so many times to our beloved Disney World and other multiple travel destinations throughout the year.
As the positives rush through my mind, of course negatives always creep in too. My 33 year old body is not the body I had as a teenager, a twenty year old, or even a 30 year old. It is my own fault, I love to eat and hate to exercise - I know that needs to change. I am working on embracing my 33 year old body and the changes that have come with it. When I went to get my drivers lisence today that had expired the lady asked me if my weight had changed since my last lisence and I laughed out loud and said "yes, unfortunately you can ad 30 pounds onto that number : ( " But in times like those I need to focus on the positives again, knowing that in reality - is my body THAT bad? Do I need to be so focused on what jiggles and not just embrace who I am? I know that I need to work out more and eat better and I realize that more than ever because my metabolism has caught up with this 33 year old body, but I'm also realizing there are worse things in life and not to let it get me down.
So, in my 33rd year of life I will try and find a new sense of self and confidence and embrace the changes. I will commit to exercise more and eat better overall and try and focus on what matters MOST in my life: the love of my family and the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon me which are honestly to many to count.

SANCTUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since Tim and I have been married we lived in cramped bedrooms full of mis matched furniture from our youth, barren white walls with kids pictures taped to them, junk everywhere, just not your ideal bedroom that you think you will have as a married couple.
I am happy to report that after almost 11 years together we FINALLY have our SANCTUARY!
We ordered new furniture and that inspired Tim to paint. We picked out paint colors together, light fixtures, art work, it all came together so nicely. Here are some pictures of the final product:






It all came together so nicely and Tim and I are so happy. Nothing like stepping into your bedroom and having a giddy smile over take your face.

Rainy Day Fun

Today was one of those dreary rainy days. I had promised Lauren we would make a tent on the next rainy day,so when she looked outside this morning and saw the rain drops she was excited.
Here is my excited girl in her tent:




I took my first long peaceful nap of the summer today,it was wonderful! Just hearing the rain against the window, the nice darkness of the bedroom, ahhhhhhh it was wonderful!

Then tonight for dinner we each made our own pizza. The kids really got into it and they tasted REALLY good :






I thank the Lord for this wonderful lazy rainy day together as a family, it was a great one!

Being The Best Mom I Can Be

I feel very fortunate that the Lord has blessed me with two wonderful healthy children who LOVE to spend time with their mom. I get overwhelmed at times because when school is in the MINUTE I hit the door exhausted from work I am bombarded with their desire for undivided "mom time". They try and squeeze in all of the snuggles, all of the tales of their day, make-believe games, begging for an airplane ride, just undivided attention every single second. I must say, it is hard at times when I just want to sit down and relax and have some "me time', but I realize as a mother, especially a working mother, my job is never done.
I have that horrible mothers guilt when I am at work away from my kids and any second that they ask me to do something and I legitimately can not for one reason or another, that "Can we play Mommy?" and my response of no and the look in their eyes keeps re playing in my mind over and over again.
I know I must cherish these days, they will be gone way too fast.
Now that school is out Lauren is SO excited to have me at home. Today we got some girl time, just she and I. We were in the kitchen getting breakfast and she said "this is great mom, I get you all to myself today!" PRECIOUS!

So, I will take time this summer, away from the hustle and bustle of school and just ENJOY my children and be the best mom that I can possibly be. I will take time to cuddle in the morning, take time to dive into the pool with them, take time for tickles, airplane rides, board games, hopscotch, airplane rides, quality time - what they crave more than anything, to simply be the best mom that I can be- because I know I am building the foundation and influencing my childrens lives and helping them turn into the remarkable individuals that I know they will be some day. When they look back on their child hood I want them to think they had a cool mom who loves them VERY much - I sure hope they do.

Appreciation

Today was the final day of school. This was a difficult year on many levels. I had a student pass away in October who was so very dear to my heart and I miss her terribly. The room hasn't been the same since her passing and she is remembered in little things we do daily which is so painful to bare. There were some other intense issues I won't get into - overall just a stressful year that I must say I am glad to see come to an end so that I can look forward to a new year next year. That is the great thing about teaching, if a year goes badly it doesn't keep dragging on, you always get a do-over.
The mother of the student of mine who passed away came in to visit today and wrote me the sweetest card of appreciation and that meant so much to me, it is wonderful to feel appreciated. It was so nice of her to take the time to do that, to go out of her way like that and allow us to remember her daughter on the last day of school with her, together.
I work so hard all school year, pour my heart out to these students, go to training to become a better educator, change diapers, get spit on, hair pulled, bit, scratched,manage para professionals (which can get VERY stressful at times), deal with the paper work and politics, shed tears of frustration, it goes with the territory. I also get hugs, kisses, love, admiration of my students, and most importantly I get to watch them grow as people academically and socially. Being a special education teacher it is all about baby steps, but it is awesome to see my students take those baby steps.
On the last day of school it is always so wonderful to see all of the teachers get showered with gifts, get cards from the students and parents showing how much they are appreciated. I go to the store with my children and always pick out nice gifts for their teachers and most importantly write a nice letter about how much I appreciated all they did for my child. As a special educator I often feel unappreciated. It isn't the gifts that mean anything to me, it is the cards, the "thank you's", that is what I eat up. This year I got one card, just one. Sometimes you just need that pat on the back, especially after a hard year like this one has been. I am so thankful for the mother that came in today and took the time to thank me for caring for her daughter and the things I taught her, I cherish those, they mean so much, they make me feel my job is appreciated, and isn't that what all of us need at times?